![]() Are you okay with your girlfriend posting candid photos of you on social media without your permission?.Would you be willing to leave all your friends behind to be with me?. ![]() Is there anything you have ever done that you consider unprofessional?.No one wants to keep a practice that is always a downer. Having the juxtaposition keeps it enjoyable. There are plenty of things I appreciate in my partner which go unsaid until a moment of reflection like this. The questions are designed to create space both for challenges, as well as for gratitude and appreciation (not just one or the other). After all, it’s often the things which spark a response in us which are the keys to the areas in which we have room to grow. If coming from a place of love and introspection, and if all thoughts are shared with a common vision of their being in service to your relationship, rather than trying to hurt one another, this can be an effective tool. This can overshadow all that is good in the relationship, leaving people to wonder if they have chosen the right mate.” So here is the good news: when you can understand each other’s feelings and ‘childhood wounds’ more empathically, you can begin to heal yourself and your relationship, and move toward a more conscious one.Īllow me to reiterate that this is an exercise centered around the intention of growth (not finger-pointing). They continue, “Most people face only a few of these ‘core issues,’ but they typically arise again and again within partnerships. Likewise, if you felt abandoned, smothered, neglected, etc., these feelings will come up in your marriage/committed relationships.” For example: If you frequently felt criticized as a child, you will likely be sensitive to any criticism from, and feel criticized often by your partner. ![]() He coined the term “imago” which is Latin for “image,”and refers to the “unconscious image of familiar love.”Īs shared on, “Simply put, there is often a connection between the frustrations experienced in adult relationships and early childhood experiences. Harville Hendrix, author of the best-selling books Getting the Love You Want: A Guide For Couples and Keeping the Love You Find. This response reminds me of the work of Dr. Then ask yourself why four more times to get to the real reason.įor some, it sparks fears of ridicule, criticism, speaking your mind or abandonment. If so, I encourage you to check in with yourself and ask why. Is your mind swelling with fear, worry or naysaying thoughts?
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